Movie Review: Doctor Strange

So, we just saw Doctor Strange. John wasn't looking forward to it, and Emma had to roofie him and drag his unconscious body into the theater seven hours beforehand. Here's what we thought.

 

John:

Okay, okay, fine, I didn't hate Doctor Strange. You win.

Were there a lot of things wrong with it? Yes. Did I hate it? No. Was it the worst Marvel movie? Not by a long shot. This movie mostly fell into the "tried to do too much after having spent too much time on the origin story" trap. Which, all of the origin stories do, naturally, to one degree or another. We also had Bendystraw Cummerbund portraying Stephen Strange, a Philadelphia-born brain surgeon. Brillopad, who is British, could either speak with an...American...accent, or speak with emotion. Not both. That being said, I didn't dislike his portrayal. The story is more-or-less pulled straight out of the Marvel wiki page. I should know. I looked it up, cause I don't know much(anything) about Doctor Strange.

He definitely got the whole 'demanding to be referred to as Doctor' thing spot on. I run into those kind of assholes from time-to-time, and man, they are hickory smoked horse butt-holes in human form. And they didn't shy away from that. This whole movie, much like the first Avengers movie, was about one white man(Tony Stark) realizing it wasn't all about him, and sacrificing himself. Except, you know, everything turns out fine, white man survives with little to no consequence. Which, hey, good guys win and all, but the ending honestly felt too easy. Boom, evil multiverse entity swallowing the Earth, wham-bam, Broccoli Cucumberpatch figures out how to use the (SURPRISE) Infinity Stone to beat the entity. Everyone goes home with a plate of spaghetti and a cool story. Except for Mordo, whose entire belief system is left in tatters, but, hey, he's not the hero, right? Right? 

 

Emma:

OK, I roofied no one first of all. 

So the first opening twenty minutes with all the medical shit? About made my medical phobic ass pass out. I thought I was going to be cool, then I dry heaved and thought to myself maybe I should go sit in the hall for a minute. I did and got asked very politely by a movie theatre attendant if I was OK?, I looked I kind of pale. I said that's just my face, thank you for the concern.

After all the 'my hands are fucked forever let's show us doing medical things with them' scenes, I was back by the time we got him to Nepal. Which then began the nausea due to special effects. The whole 'let's show this bitch what it's like to live inside a kaleidoscope'  scene made my stomach protest as well.

So in this movie I love a lot of classic reaches that there were to the original comics. I don't know if Bumblebee Crabapples was the best choice to play him but we can't go back on that one so here we are. His accent was so painful in this movie omg.

So John said most of the things that I also felt to be true but let me tell you one thing I was fucking excited as hell about. I'm like 90% certain I saw Nico Minoru from the A-Force's weapon. Like holy shit you guys could that mean we get to meet her in some movie one day? That be fucking amazing omg.

This movie was interesting but predictable. Pretty but plot wise plain. I did cry when the ancient one died and I suppose the line 'You'd think after all this time I'd be ready. But look at me. Stretching one moment out into a thousand... just so that I can watch the snow.' got me. Right in the Honey Nut Feelios.