X-Men Apocalypse Review *Spoilers!* And Differing Opinions

Emma first. 

So I liked it.

It was very very very different from the other two. And I didn't think the pretty agent lady who was useless, and whose name I have forgotten, needed to be brought back but still I liked it. She did have a very Scully vibe tho.

However I found Apocalypse to be a strange villain, his followers even more so. I was more interested in Charles, who had a lot of shit happen to him. And Pietro...Peter? Quicksilver. Who I think in this movie timeline is like 24 or something? What happened to his little sister in the outtakes. I want to know more about her. But then I'm a slut for Maximoff's in general.

But why did they give Erik a family? And move him to Germany? He's not the villain. They killed his family. I mean he's not stable but his love of Charles is what got him to stop destroying the world. They made his bond to Charles so strong that he will literally just stop doing whatever to make sure bae is ok.

I mean I guess but where is Genosha? And a general desire to do evil?

I do like how they made Charles bald, how that was explained. But I will miss McAvoy's sexy hair. Did you know that we have a cardboard cut out of him that we use as a christmas tree in our house? ....I'm getting off topic.

I did like Jean Grey's casting. Also her actress did a great accent and a good job with some terrible lines. They also did a good job casting Scott Summers, because I fucking hate that kid. I hate Cyclops, there I said it. I hate him. Hate. Hate. And this actor was able to summarize his shitty personality while still making me root for him when he was attacking Apocalypse. Good job dude.

Buy why was Storm so weak? And they just killed off Angel? Who was like ten but in the comics he and the in the movie grown adult psylocke are supposed to be a thing?

But yeah ok that's cool.

Over all I liked it, but I won't be seeing it twenty times in theatres



John here.

I didn't like it.

That isn't to say that I didn't enjoy myself, or lol. I did. But I'm not recommending the movie to any of my friends. This movie falls into the trap that plagues the two Avengers movies thus far: Too much is going on. And somehow, with so much going on, it still felt unnecessarily long. My main complaint, however, is that the ladies did jack-shit. I mean, they did NOTHING. So many strong female characters, and talented actors, and yet, the men take the glory. What the hell, people?

Ororo Monroe. Oh, dearest Storm. What in the actual fuck did they do to you? I mean, we knew that for a time she was a pickpocket living on the streets, but she was also worshipped as a goddess once she came into her powers. This movie neuters that. It is heavily implied that Apocalypse is responsible for her considerable power. And if she actually did idolize Mystique as the movie claims, why the fuck did she join Apocalypse? And she turns against him only when she realizes that Mystique is fighting him? I'm sorry, but no. The character is better than that. They picked a great actress to portray an amazing character and fucked them both over in the writing.

Jean Grey. Oh, you problematic little redhead. Say what you will about her character, it is well accepted that she is/was one of the most powerful mutants of all time. Younger Jean will of course be less capable, but aside from making the X-kids appear invisible, she didn't actually do anything useful. Well, except for freeing Weapon X. Wait, what?! Yeah, she lets the Wolverine out of his cage at the Alkali Lake facility, and then restores a piece of his memory. ...oooookay, well I don't have any legitimate complaints about that, it just really sucks that Wolverine didn't break out by his cunning alone. You know, like he canonically does. I digress... She does help to defeat Apocalypse in the end, but only after just about everything is lost, and only by using her Phoenix powers(We all know what it was, come the fuck on!).

Jubilee was in the movie for five minutes. She made no impact, and barely had a personality. Therefore, that was not actually Jubilee. Not harping on her actor, mind you. She did the best she could with the shit she was given. Jubilee deserves better writing than that. As does Psylocke, frankly. In this movie, she goes from being some punk-ass mutant's flunkie to being Apocalypse's flunky. No mention is made of her being a ninja, and even her powers and fighting prowess is glossed over. Pity.

Moira MacTaggert was completely useless in this movie. And what a shame, because while she is not a mutant or powered in any way, she is certainly capable. In the comics she's a geneticist, but for the movies they made her a C.I.A. agent. And yet, she sits there, not quite a damsel in distress, but not too far off, for the whole fucking movie. What a tragic waste of a great character.

Oh, Mystique. How did they make you a fucking badass in every goddamn movie they made except this one? Aside from your daring rescue of Nightcrawler way the fuck at the beginning of the movie, you did, like, no fighting. You got one hit in with Apocalypse and were immediately vanquished. Otherwise, all you did was convince Magneto to stop fucking up. Good job. Even Mystique, a lady who has single-handedly defeated Wolverine, Sabretooth, and countless others, gets the boot in favor of the white dudes.

I could go on and on, but I'd bore everyone, including myself. Suffice it to say, not the best X-Men movie. Not the worst, that title will always belong to X-Men III, but it's definitely the second worst. I'm completely fine with changing canon to make it a better story, as long as it actually makes it a better story. In this case, it did not. I get that we're in a completely new timeline, but come on. The X-Ladies are fucking deadly, powerful, and intelligent as hell. Why did you do this to them? At least give us Storm back.


Scott Summers is a shitlord. Always has been. Just stating facts, here. Emma loves Hawkeye, I have a lot of hair, and Scott Summers is a shitlord.