Spider-man Recap: ...Why?

This week's #21Marvel was Spiderman. The Tobey Maguire Spider-man. So...yeah...

We started off young, hopeful, and a little bit mean, with our drink...

John continually added vodka to the mix because he wanted to die.

John continually added vodka to the mix because he wanted to die.

It was somewhere near the beginning when we remembered how bad the movie was going to be...

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And we also remembered why we were so happy that the newest Spiderman was being played by a 17-year-old

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There were lots of confusing bits to the movie

Like, I know we're supposed to root for him but no one wants to see Tobey Maguire shirtless. Ever.

Like, I know we're supposed to root for him but no one wants to see Tobey Maguire shirtless. Ever.

Also, tiny logical flaws that could have changed the movie entirely...

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Still, there were a few redeeming qualities about this movie. And not just Willem Dafoe as Green Goblin (Seriously, props, man)

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Most of the time though, we berated and outright rooted against this particular Peter Parker

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Of course we were expecting Uncle Ben to die. John especially...

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And thank the heathen gods for J. K. Simmons

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Finally, an hour in, and we were done pretending

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When it was all finally over, we could come to but one conclusion:

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Be sure to join us next week for...Oh, god...Daredevil.

Balls.